No snow? Fuck it, we'll go play in the mud!

"Desu-San-Desu" (Desu-San-Desu)
12/15/2013 at 10:25 • Filed to: readersrides, hoonlopnik, hoon of the day

Me and Herr Quattro had a play date after work today. We even made postcard pictures! :-P

As you can tell, I had a good bit of fun after work today. I was working in Marietta, SC and I stumbled upon a place at the top of the mountain where they'd been planning to build a housing development. Then the recession hit and the company went bust before they even finished leveling out the land, leaving nothing but a giant expanse of mud, hills, and lots of muddy dirt trails through the woods.

Someone who lived nearby told me that it had been turned into a sort of public off-road park by the locals and that nobody would care if I went and had a little fun there while it was still nice and muddy.

So have a little fun I did! Since I live in South Carolina, this will probably be about as close as I'll get to hooning in the snow any time soon, haha.

BTW: Sorry about the bad picture quality. The rear camera on my potato is busted, so I had to use the front-facing camera and get creative with the editing software, haha.

UPDATE: Holy crap, Bill Caswell made one of my pictures !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! :

P.S. - Also, apparently Google+ doesn't know the difference between mud and snow...

DISCUSSION (69)

Spaceball-Two > Desu-San-Desu
12/14/2013 at 21:22

Fellow Quattro owner with no snow to be had. Double sads.

Raphael Orlove > Desu-San-Desu
12/14/2013 at 21:25

Nicely done! I wish I could find more abandoned construction projects like that for the baja.

George McNally > Desu-San-Desu
12/14/2013 at 21:55

Hell yes.....It's nice to see a car with a little dirt on it once and awhile.

Brian, The Life of > Desu-San-Desu
12/14/2013 at 22:01

Kinja'd!!!

w00t!

Desu-San-Desu > Brian, The Life of
12/14/2013 at 22:03

IKNOWRIGHT!?!

Leadbull > Desu-San-Desu
12/14/2013 at 23:24

That's actually really good for a front facing ipotato camera. ZEHR GUT.

How'd you see what you were shooting?

Desu-San-Desu > Leadbull
12/14/2013 at 23:25

Flexible Desu is flexible, desu.

Leadbull > Desu-San-Desu
12/14/2013 at 23:32

Kinja'd!!!

stuttgartobsessed > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 00:13

So cool! Congrats!

Also. Such fun. What mud.

Burrito de EJ25 > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 05:57

**throws all the stars at you**

Desu-San-Desu > Spaceball-Two
12/15/2013 at 13:27

At least Google+ decided to randomly add snow to one of the pictures, lol.

Also...am I the only who gets that weird Guitar Hero feeling when looking at the snow picture, where it looks like the picture behind the snow is slowly scrolling upwards? I know it's an optical illusion, but damn it's disorienting.

Desu-San-Desu > Leadbull
12/15/2013 at 13:38

I need this shirt in my life. Does it come in other colors?

word-is-bond > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 13:50

Kinja'd!!!

You are awesome. What's the shift pattern/first-aid sticker?

Desu-San-Desu > word-is-bond
12/15/2013 at 13:52

Kinja'd!!!

johnstumpypepys > Raphael Orlove
12/15/2013 at 13:54

Always find the abandoned ones. I've used the active ones and was freed of a considerable sum of cash when I sunk to the axles and the developer showed up. Almost made it out as I have a buddy who is a mechanic and tow truck driver who got me out but not before Johnny Law showed up.

word-is-bond > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 13:54

Oh, nice. It would be a neat touch if they had different patterns so I could get one that matches my car's. Probably get one anyway - thanks.

johnstumpypepys > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 13:54

How are these things mechanically? They are beautiful to look at and I'd love to tool around in one, but am scared of the repair potential...

Desu-San-Desu > johnstumpypepys
12/15/2013 at 14:14

You only really have to worry about the rubber bits- bushings, mounts, boots, gaskets, seals, etc.

Currently, it's fast approaching 300k miles on all original running gear and the only things that it needs repair-wise are:

Rubber strut mounts

1 engine mount

1 transmission mount

Both rear diff mounts

Cam seal

Valve cover gasket

Steering rack boot

Suspension bushings

Also on the (soon but not immediate) list are

Clutch (it's still on the original 22 year old clutch), which is understandable

Timing belt (again, normal wear item)

Brake rotors and pads (again, normal wear items)

As for things that don't work, the usual electronic niggles, like cruise control, and....well...really just cruise control. I do have a short in the gauge cluster lighting, but that just requires a day to track it down and fix it myself, haha. And the handbrake cable needs to be adjusted about once a year or so.

When I first bought it, I had to replace the front CV axles due to the boots being ripped, though it drove fine with them ripped. I just didn't want to chance it. I also need to buy new tie rods because the previous owner buggered up the adjustment threads and I can't realign them until I get new ones, but that's not the car's fault. A whole new front tie-rod assembly set, left and right sides, is only $106. I just wish I had $106, haha.

Other than that, it's like any other 20+ year old car. It has its quirks, niggles, and rattles. But as long as you keep the fluids where the need to be and follow your routine maintenance, it's a very easy car to upkeep, especially if you get one like mine with the factory-galvanized and rust-coated chassis.

So far as cost goes, the electronic bits are pretty pricey, but the actual mechanical parts are surprisingly affordable and the car is pleasantly easy to work on, if a little over-engineered sometimes, as most German cars are. In reality, if I do the labor on my car, I could fix absolutely everything listed for under $1,000.

My only real gripe is the Bosch K-Jetronic CIS fuel injection system, but 034 Motorsports makes an EFI conversion kit for those who want to start modding for power, so even that's not something I can justify complaining about.

Some people complain about the suspension being McPherson struts all around and this causing outer tire wear, but that's primarily due to driving habits. These cars have a genuinely surprising amount of ultimate grip, so owners tend to corner very spiritedly. If you drive it with more restraint, the tire wear is fine. Even still, all 4 lower ball joints are triple-bolt adjustable, meaning adding a little negative camber to compensate for cornering loads is fairly simple.

Oh...and there is no Haynes or Chilton's repair manual for this car. You can spend $200 on the Bentley shop manual, or just go to O'Reilly's Auto Parts and have them print you out one of their custom ones for $40, haha.

smokeycretin9 > johnstumpypepys
12/15/2013 at 14:22

From what I gather, Audi's turn signals never seem to work, on the freeway, here in Seattle. Even new ones have the problem. :)

Leadbull > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 14:31

Don't think so. It's a Blipshift, so I'm sure it's not even available anymore...

stephen mcknight 2011@ hotmail.co.uk > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 14:35

High class hooning young man, what year was the Quattaro as it a brillant car for this kind of job.

Desu-San-Desu > stephen mcknight 2011@ hotmail.co.uk
12/15/2013 at 14:50

1991 Audi 80 quattro 5MT.

wisc47 > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 14:51

Absolutely gorgeous. I'm not so good with the old Audi models, that's a 90 correct? I'm currently looking at daily drivers, would this suffice for a Wisconsinite?

feather-throttle-not-hair > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 14:55

Awesome. I went karting yesterday on a wet track. it was a good day for automotive tomfoolery.

EuroJosh > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 15:09

Kinja'd!!!

Diggin the caswell sticker!

vytautasmiks > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 15:12

Uuu, it's just like mine! But mine is not quattro and it's diesel :(

Kinja'd!!!

Desu-San-Desu > vytautasmiks
12/15/2013 at 15:13

You get crazy Jalop points for the diesel! =D

johnstumpypepys > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 16:49

Thanks! Great review!

Inspector Poirot > Spaceball-Two
12/15/2013 at 17:00

Me too...

Much sads...

but on a positive note, I should have snows in about a week

James May is my spirit animal > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 17:34

Kinja'd!!!

This is what every road to The Girl™ 's father's house is like. Well, except for the 3/4 mile 9%( average. it peaks at 15%[son of a bitch in the snow]) incline with three turns.

http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/33…

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > wisc47
12/15/2013 at 18:16

Absolutely. They rock in New England winters, Wisconsin shouldn't be a problem.

Does WI salt its roads?

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > smokeycretin9
12/15/2013 at 18:17

That's either 1) emulating BMW signal options, or 2) standard-issue VAG electrickery

Raphael Orlove > johnstumpypepys
12/15/2013 at 18:20

daaaaaamn

simon_C > vytautasmiks
12/15/2013 at 18:40

We never got the diesels in the states. Id love a big-turbo diesel with quattro.

^shiftBowling > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 18:56

This makes me miss my 90 so hard. Right in the nostalgia feels this hits.

wisc47 > Dead_Elvis, Inc.
12/15/2013 at 19:01

Like crazy, yes.

Desu-San-Desu > wisc47
12/15/2013 at 20:23

Actually, it's an 80, haha.

And it's fine for winters up north, so long as you get one that came galvanized and anti-rust-coated from the factory, like mine.

AmericanMagpie > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 22:18

I wish I knew of places like this in Dallas-Ft Worth. I'd love to take my daily out and throw some mud.

Desu-San-Desu > AmericanMagpie
12/15/2013 at 23:13

Google Maps and Google Earth can help. Here's the Google Maps view of the mud pit in the pictures.

A quick peek of the Dallas area shows some potential spots near the intersection of HWY 1171 and HWY 377, namely here , here , and here .

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > wisc47
12/15/2013 at 23:17

You'll still be able to enjoy it for a few years before it dissolves completely.

DannyO > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 23:25

Where can I get one of those?

Desu-San-Desu > DannyO
12/15/2013 at 23:26

Read the fine print...

AmericanMagpie > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 23:36

All of those links were the same.....

But you're seriously amazing for doing all of that.

Desu-San-Desu > AmericanMagpie
12/15/2013 at 23:43

Dafuq? I KNOW I used 4 separate URL's...

I blame Kinja.

AmericanMagpie > Desu-San-Desu
12/15/2013 at 23:48

Haha, its cool. The area is great, now I just need to find a local Jalop or a friend with a tow truck to get my Matrix un-stuck should the worst happen.

Shawn > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 00:41

Kinja'd!!!

I don't like bumper stickers, but I need this in my life.

Stef Schrader > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 01:02

Looks like fun.

Love your car!

pasterios > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 01:31

10v or 20v? I love the deep sound of these 5-cylinder engines gurgling and rumbling. My all stock 1991 80 10v 5MT would set off car alarms when the engine rose out of idle.

vytautasmiks > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 03:24

Thanks for that :D

vytautasmiks > simon_C
12/16/2013 at 03:25

Unfortunately there were no diesel quattro, but a variant like that would be so much fun :)

simon_C > vytautasmiks
12/16/2013 at 03:42

I would kill for a 80 quattro wagon TDI....

Cyfun > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 04:25

Bitchin Quattro! I just picked up a '90 Audi 200 Quattro Avant for a couple hundred. Needs a little love, but looking forward to getting it chipped, I hear they can push about 250bhp with minimal modification.

Ain't she pretty? :D

Kinja'd!!!

PS9 > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 04:51

Fuyukai desu...

DayWooTang > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 05:54

How much hooning time did you get after all that posing?

Desu-San-Desu > Cyfun
12/16/2013 at 07:34

SO JEALOUSSSSS!!!!

The ONLY thing I feel would make my car better would be if it was a wagon. I want a wagon quattro so bad....

BTW, do you need front tie rods? Because I happen to have some, lol.

Desu-San-Desu > pasterios
12/16/2013 at 07:39

2.3L 10V. Sounds like you had a near-identical car as mine.

Charlie B. Sharenative > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 09:21

So, I don't have a 4WD car (anymore), and I don't have a muddy lot to visit nearby, but I want you to know this post inspired me to go mountain biking in the snow on the Croton Aqueduct trail near my place. Closest thing I could find, I guess.

Thanks!

parksachusetts > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 09:25

Thank you for this. You just warmed my heart up.

First car was a teal blue Audi 80 and good grief do I miss her.

(I don't miss the BBS wheels though. Those things were a nightmare to clean!)

Desu-San-Desu > Charlie B. Sharenative
12/16/2013 at 09:26

Kinja'd!!!

Desu-San-Desu > parksachusetts
12/16/2013 at 09:28

Lol, I'm glad it brought back fond memories. ^_^

I got lucky that mine came with the 15" Ronal R8's, which are fairly easy to clean, even though I have to clean them about twice a week due to brake dust, haha.

BLIZZ > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 09:38

So much win!

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 10:50

Wow, those pictures are incredible!

Desu-San-Desu > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
12/16/2013 at 11:58

Thanks! =D

Coalman > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 12:14

Aww man, hearing all this just makes me want to pick up an old Audi to refresh and drive daily. Didn't know they came with factory-galvanizing and rust-coating. Actually stopped and looked recently at an '86 Coupe GT on the side of the road that had Florida plates on it with a sign for $1k.

Reminds me a bit of my old '89 Jetta with the finicky fuel injection. As it is my '98 Jetta had given me years of trouble free service and the parts are fairly inexpensive too.

ocbrad1 used to be iamhoff but is now just wandering around > Desu-San-Desu
12/16/2013 at 13:31

I hereby award you all of the internets I have to give! So much awesome here!

Desu-San-Desu > Coalman
12/16/2013 at 23:16

You need to pick up that Coupe GT ASAP, bro...

Coalman > Desu-San-Desu
12/17/2013 at 02:08

If I had the disposable income it'd be in the driveway right now! T_T

InvalidnostCCCP > Desu-San-Desu
12/17/2013 at 12:40

I had a 1988 Audi 80 (non-quattro, 4-cyl, bare bones — which was still quite nice) from 1993 until 2001. It was my first "real" car (the previous two were VW Beetles from the '70s). Up until my parents gave it to my sister while I was overseas, it was the most comfortable, most reliable, most fun thing I could imagine.

Best car I ever owned? Possibly. I definitely miss it.

Desu-San-Desu > InvalidnostCCCP
12/17/2013 at 22:27

Kinja'd!!!